


when

by sweetheartbitterheart



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: F/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/pseuds/sweetheartbitterheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Derek gets feelings and Casey dates a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in '09.

When Casey breaks up with Truman ( _for good_ ), when they to go university together ( _but not together-together_ ), when she starts dating this guy Kyle ( _he's nice and sweet and decent_ ), Derek's feelings feel like they aren't his own anymore.

He still makes fun of her and denies their relation. He feigns happiness and cheekiness whenever he sees her with Kyle. His temper, and the time in between dating girls shortens drastically.

When Casey and Kyle break up, he feels vindicated and doesn't understand why.

He wonders if it's cold to wish for her to cry. It's heartbreaking, but at least he might get the chance to comfort her properly. The thought scares him and he avoids her until winter break when they have to go home.

She tries to confront him but his cold shoulder is now at Antarctic level.

They go back to university without ever talking to each other.

He still sees her around. They have a few classes together and he used to mooch notes off her but now he has to attention if wants to pass the classes. He finds himself hating her and comes up with the perfect prank but then realizes he's supposed to be avoiding her ( _avoiding feelings_ ).

He goes out and picks up a girl. The sex isn't great but at least he gets off to a real girl in front of him this time.

Eventually, he notices that she's started dating again. He sees her with him outside the library one day but she doesn't see him. He's tall and blonde and they're laughing. He walks off in a blur, bumping into people and not even acknowledging it.

So he goes to his friend's party across campus and finds a lovely girl to ravish. He leaves her dorm before it's even light out and doesn't leave a note.

She finally corners him when he's leaving a class. He nearly knocks her over because she sneaks up on him from behind.

They argue for a few minutes and he mentions The Blonde Guy ( _whose real name is Eric_ ). He leaves her standing outside the library dumbfounded.

She finds her own way home when it's time for March break. Once home, he spends every day sleeping and every night out.

The next time he sees her she's alone; no friends or Eric in sight. She looks a little sad and he almost goes to her but instead he gets drunk at some party. There's a girl there with brown hair like her and in an instant he has her in his clutches.

He says her name when he comes. The girl leaves ( _angry and disgusted_ ) but before she does, she yells at him to get back together with his girlfriend if he wants sex. Girlfriend and Casey sound perfect to him.

Final exams come and go. He passes with good enough grades and gets a congratulatory call from his parents and Edwin, Lizzie and Marti. He misses them and realizes just how much he's been avoiding since the beginning of the school year. So he vows to spend a lot more time with each of them during the summer ( _Edwin = advice, Lizzie = sports, Marti = Smarti & Smerek time_).

On his last day at university, he dreams about her and wakes up reaching out for someone but no one's there.

They're supposed to ride home together and he anticipates the worst. But when she's forty-five minutes late to meeting him, he figures she's found a ride back home with someone else again. She shows up just as he's getting ready to drive off.

He helps her load her stuff into the car without speaking.

They sit in the car for five minutes; not talking, not looking at each other, barely breathing. She gives him an impatient look and he pulls out of the parking lot with somewhat of a vengeance.

There are a total of twelve words spoken between them by the time they back to London. She bolts out of the car, carrying whatever of her stuff she can at the moment. He brings the rest of her stuff before his own.

After all the feel-good family moments and dinner, he hides away in his room which he realizes he really missed. He puts his things away and lies on his bed, pretending like he'll actually go to sleep. He knows he won't really sleep if she's in the room next to his again.  
The knock on his door brings him back to where he is. He answers, expecting to see Edwin or his dad but it's her. She's all he ever sees anymore.

"I just wanted to tell you that I hate you," she pronounces every word with the most vigor he's ever seen her have.

"Okay," he says, trying to find a place comfortably numb.

"And that I think you're being an asshole," she goes on.

"Okay," he nods.

"And you've really weirded me out this past year," her mouth just won't stop moving.

"Okay."

"And… and… I really miss you," the words stumble out awkwardly.

He pulls her inside with way too much force and she yelps out.

The kiss is terrible, frankly, though he goes in with no expectations so maybe it's better actually. He bites her bottom lip and puts his tongue in her mouth long before she even suggests she might have wanted it there.

She punches him in the arm and they pull apart.

"I thought you hated me," she says, her lips swollen and bruised.

"I did… I do," he answers, rubbing his arm, "…I love you too."

She's the one who rushes at him this time. Kissing and biting and everything right.

When she's completely enthralled in whatever this is, when she's panting and smiling, when she goes to kiss him slowly and softly this time, she whispers, "I love you too."

He feels vindicated all over again and he understands why.


End file.
